9/11 Changed My Life

Some people know that September 11 is my birthday. Fewer know how that day in 2001 changed my life.

Back then, I was very unhappy in my government job. The work itself was interesting and useful, but my boss was demeaning, disorganized, and dismissive. He surveilled us, was verbally abusive and he mismanaged the work flow to create impossible deadlines. He didn’t care about the toll it took on me and other staff. I was having chest pains during the day and crying at night.

I had been trying to make a move and had an offer for a six-month contract somewhere else. But the thought of leaving a permanent job with benefits and a pension felt too risky. My boss had no respect for me or my work but he wouldn’t approve a leave either.

I vacillated. Could I do it? What if it didn’t work out? What if I ended up worse off?

Then came September 11. Watching those horrible images on TV put things in perspective. Life can be cut brutally short. Leaving my toxic situation was really no risk at all compared to jumping from a burning building. The next day, I quit. And that decision took me into the best workplace of my career – with a supportive manager, a great team and meaningful work. It also led to another path I never could have predicted. Five years later I took another risk and founded my own successful consulting company. 

I can’t know how things would have worked out otherwise and I never looked back.

The learnings I feel I can share now about this are:

• Check the real cost of staying – in a bad job, relationship, living situation or even in habits that don’t serve you. If your health, joy, or confidence are paying the price, stability isn’t worth it.
• Reframe the risk. Sure you can say “What if it fails?” but also “What if it works?”
• Tune in to turning points. Crises, events, important dates can help you see more clearly. It is proven that people are more successful at making change when it is anchored to a meaningful event.
• Stop waiting for certainty. You can’t predict the future or guarantee an outcome. Waiting until you “know for sure” can keep you stuck. Progress comes from acting, not from knowing the result.
• Decide and move on. You can’t know what would have been, but you can trust yourself to handle what comes next.