I have just finished Ian Brown’s excellent latest memoir Seventy. It is a thoughtful, beautiful diary of his 71st year of life. One idea that really resonated with me was that good aging should include “a modicum of risk”.
Usually we associate risk-taking with younger folks. And we think that becoming risk-averse is a sign of prudence and maturity. I strongly disagree.
Most of my coaching clients want help to make change in their life. Change is risky. We can’t know the outcome. But staying stuck isn’t better. I have worked with folks negotiating work changes, retiring, finding a pathway back to university, settling in Canada and moving to another country. Big changes, but also small ones. My clients do the work. They are always capable, but coaching supports and emboldens them to pursue what they want. It is amazing and gratifying for me to see them grow in confidence and resilience.
Risk is being willing to act even if something is unfamiliar or makes us fearful. Learning a new language risks feeling inarticulate and awkward. Reaching out to make a new friend risks rejection. Trying a new sport or creative activity usually means not being very good at it, at least at first. But what can we gain? Learning, unexpected opportunities, connection, confidence, pleasure and capability to deal with failure…
Taking risks into elder years is even more important. When we stop doing the physical activities we have always enjoyed, trying new things, and exploring possibilities, we can hasten making our world smaller, more insular and less satisfying.
People may have good intentions in being protective of elders, wanting them to be safer and more sensible. Lots of adult children lament that their parents aren’t “being careful” or accepting their physical limitations or help. Sometimes this is warranted. But it is important not to confuse safety with choice, autonomy and being part of the community around us – which we all need at all ages to thrive.
I ride my bicycle for regular transportation because I don’t drive. Cycling in the city carries some risk, for sure. I have been both doored and hit by a car (at low speed, thank goodness). But I love the exercise, independence, affordability, and pure fun…and I can always find parking.
I have thought of what “a modicum of risk” might mean for cycling as I get older and perhaps less able. I have a plan: e-bike, then adult e-trike. Lit up like a Christmas tree, with lots of reflectors. I will likely end up being that old lady that other people think is a little crazy to still be biking around. I’ll take the risk.