Is it scary to think about what you really want? Are you afraid that you will seem foolish or unrealistic? Unfortunately, we are socialized to think that being mature in years or career means being rational and not reaching too far… and that doesn’t serve us. In fact, it stops us from thinking bigger before we even start.
It is surprisingly difficult to say what we want. Even my clients – who have signed up for coaching because they want to make life changes – really struggle. When I ask them they often chop down their hopes and aspirations even while they try to articulate them: “that would be nice but I’m not going to be able to do it”; “my boss will refuse”; “but I’ve never been good at…”; “nobody gets a job like that anymore”; “I failed when I tried before”; “I will never afford it”.
The part that is really disheartening about this is that even starting to think or say what you really want scares the pants off a lot of people. Maybe it seems like protection against disappointment. But it also means looking at the future through a peephole rather than a window. Past limitations, failures or opinions clutter up what could be in the future. If you don’t see it you can’t reach it.
I am not saying that every dream is attainable. I have seen, though, that when my clients express what they want they get much closer to taking action. And so many of them have improved their lives and taken new directions: like going back to school, negotiating part-time work, becoming a writer, shifting a relationship with an adult child or leaving an unsatisfying job.
Expressing and especially writing down what you want helps you see what could be so that you can start figuring out how to make it happen. Just try. Do it the old-fashioned way by hand, on paper, to avoid digital distractions. Start with:
- One thing you want LESS OF in your life
- Three things you want MORE OF
That’s it. Just DO IT! I invite you to let me know how this goes. I really want to know!